He made them want to shout, Ouch! But this time you better watch out. He kicked her oh and he beat her, and he whipped her. S&M These are the words from the Thin Lizzy song S&M. But how much do you know about S&M? Can you distinguish when the role play ends and the abuse begins?

BDSM
BDSM is a collective term used for the many subdivisions of the sado-masochistic culture. B&D stands for bondage and discipline, D&S stands for domination and submission, and S&M stands for sadism and masochism. These terms are usually related to sexual acts, however, it transcends to more than just kinky sex plays.

BDSM is considered role playing in the sense that couples choose which part they want to play. But aside from choosing and playing roles, BDSM is about an open channel of communication between both parties. This means being able to openly express who you want to be in the role play, and telling your partner your limitations in terms of pain tolerance for the victim role and the extent of what you’re willing to do. BDSM also requires trust and understanding. BDSM requires using devices and accessories that may inflict pain on the partner. One should be able to trust that their partner would know how to control the way pain is inflicted, and also to know when to stop. In this same concern, the dominant partner should understand the other half enough to know how far he wants to go. BDSM is not only about being in control, it will forever be give and take.

When is BDSM emotionally abusive?
Unfortunately, we cannot ignore the fact that to some people, engaging in BDSM role playing is about enjoying the feel of having the power to inflict pain on their partners. It starts getting out of hand and becomes a power trip for the dominant partner. Here are some pointers on how to distinguish BDSM from emotional abuse.
l BDSM is based on safe, sane, and mutually consensual relationship while abuse is not and will never be negotiated.
l BDSM is acted out in a controlled environment, while abuse always appears out of hand.
l BDSM uses safe words to stop the role play if it gets out of hand while abuse doesn’t stop.
l The dominant partner in a BDSM role play looks after the well-being of the submissive partner while an abuser just thinks of himself.
l In BDSM, the relationship is fulfilling for both parties. Abusive relationships are fruitless.
l BDSM is about building trust and understanding, abuse destroys trust and breeds misunderstanding.
l BDSM aims to build self-esteem, while abuse causes the victim to develop inferiority complex.
l In BDSM, the submissive partner voluntarily serves the dominant half, while abusers do not care to ask for consent.

Knowing the signs of an abusive individual may help you avoid getting into emotional abuse in your future relationships. Once your partner goes out of bounds of the scene content for your role play and starts forcing sexual acts that goes beyond your physical limit, stop the role play and leave. If your partner humiliates or insults you often, or isolates you from the people you love, it might be a clear indication that your partner may be more into the power trip than into pleasuring you by acting our your fantasies. You have the right to be treated with respect, you have the right to say no and leave.

Whether you’re fat or thin, black or white, yellow or brown, big or small — somehow, in some little way — you might have had thoughts of inferiority. The self-defeating attitude of comparing ourselves with others…the little negative things we tell ourselves only serve to put our own self-image in a bad light. We sometimes tell ourselves that we are not good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough. And when this sense of being less in value compared to others controls our behavior, it can already be considered an inferiority complex.

An inferiority complex or extremely low self esteem is a concept we are all familiar with. Chances are, we know someone or even we ourselves suffer from this complex. People with low self-esteem are more likely to be irritable or aggressive. They may also be more likely to have feelings of resentment, alienation, and suffer depression.

An inferiority complex, in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. It is often unconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme antisocial behavior. It is a fomr of psychological and emotional disability that adversely affects a person’s well-being.

The subconscious mind of a man still carries the same feelings of being weak compared to others and that’s why he felt worthless compared to others. The man labeled himself with labels like being weak, inadequate, stupid, or clumsy. These labels accompanied him everywhere and although they were buried deep into his subconscious mind, they took control of his behavior and feelings. He tried to convince himself that he is fine now and that he doesn’t have a reason to feel inferior again but this never worked, his subconscious mind needs much more than this in order to stop making him feel inferior.
Usually rejection by family and friends, or exceedingly high expectations is often the root cause of an inferiority complex. A man’s view of himself is based on the things he or she is being told, the specific situations that a man is experiencing, and the way he or she is treated. Inferiority complex is deeply rooted in the man’s childhood. Children suffering from an inferiority complex isolate themselves from others and become preoccupied with their feelings of inferiority. As they grow up they are unable to face failures and they feel they don’t have what it takes to succeed in life.
Years later, when a child grows up and starts to be more socially adept, opportunities to overcome low self-esteem increase. The once-insecure child can strive to excel in school or in sports. Yet in the back of that child’s mind, those old self-defeating thoughts might still lie dormant and ready to resurface during the next encounter with failure or put-downs from other people.
People who suffer from an inferiority complex can also become obsessed with their weaknesses. They always keep thinking that others are superior to them. They often get nervous while talking to others, especially if the opposite person is talking confidently.
Nature doesn’t believe in similarity. It creates creatures and objects, human beings included, with such unmistakable uniqueness. Even twins are different from each other in so many ways. perhaps the key to overcome the sense of low self-worth is to begin taking stock of our good and unique features or qualities. By developing those qualities, skills, and attributes, we are able to shine and achieve identity and distinction. Indeed, inferiority complex is an irrational and unhealthy condition. Every person on the planet has at least one unique quality that is superior to others. Given that fact, how can one be inferior?